November 14, 2007
Kenape mesti aku yang slalu kene dulu dlm dunia nie?
Why is it always me. Why is everything “eh, ape feea cakap ah? Ape dier ckp ah?” Why. Why is it always me who first gets it, and the last one to be solved? What are those “You are the only one i trust” and “You are the only one by my side” ? What are those for. For nothing? For you it’s heartbreaking, for me it also is.
Sometimes you feel that you’ve found the right group of friends for you. But eventhough the are the right ones, there is no such thing as ‘arguement-free’. You get it every single time, even with the closest person you are with. And you tell youself, “i thought they are the right person for me.” But hey, they are the right people, but nothing can stop these arguements, even if you try to stop them, even if you try.
I tried. I tried by pleasing her. According to her, i was the only one that she trusted. She depended on me. Thats why i feel like i’m the only one trying to please her with everything. But i failed. She doesnt trust me anymore.
You see, to me, all of these, are just experiences. They make you crumble and fall into millions of pieces. It’s basically undescribable. Everythings on you all at once. All you need is some space to handle. Sometimes these experiences are so awfully bad, i dont even feel like there’s a need to lift up my strength anymore.
Friendship… is fragile. The only way not to break a friendship, is not to let it fall. I’m trying. But it seems… wasted.
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